One for you...

Finally I am allowed back into blogger,

stupid google, how amazing yet amazingly crap, anyway...
youll be sad to hear, im sad.
and i have written a poem about it,

about you, no not you, but you if you know who you are...
anyway, I had the intension of submitting it to poetry live competition however:
a) its too dark
b) its too shit
c) i don't really want to win, i jus want someone to hear it that doesent know me
d) theres a maximum line limit, and its not long enough as it is,

do enjoy, if you can...

Why

Why not I always say
but thats never a good enough answer
but why's not a good enough question
it only finds power upon being screemed
screemed from an empty heart
and a tearey eye

I said why

I got no answer
but a sobbing heart escaped the clutches of its bearer
and left its seat, left the room, left existance
and it left me,
surrounded by people, friends, laughter, and love,
in purgatory,
drifting in a breathless haze with just one vision,
screeaming for just one more moment,
to fill it back up with the love,
the roses,
the kisses,
the conversation,
the words, I love you,
now i would give my life for just one word,
any word, any contact, any being,

but no reply came,
it never does, it never will,

it had left,
never to return to my life,
but to leave my heart in shreads,
left in tatters and discarded,
my very existance, cut from me,
as though it made no difference

i could have put a stop to being empty,
i could have flown away and joined my floating heart in purgatory,
i didnt, i couldn't, for me joining my heart,
would break that of others from their bodys,
and turn it upside down,
lay it in salt, and wait until every last drop of hope had dried up,
that's not me,
I don't know who "me" is anymore,
and will never know,
I can't ask, last time, the very same word, left me to a life of tears,
I can never ask,
the only bit that wants to know enough to counjor up the courage to ask,
was ripped from me last time,
I'm just numbers now,
it seems so stupid now, i suppose im used to it,
but all this, for the sake of three lettes,
so insignificant,
but each more powerful than all those that bear them,

I said Why

So, whatcha think?

dark isnt it, anyways, i want it to be heard, even if it is a load of shit